The end of the year is rich in tradition, a ritual of repetition and reflection that binds us to the past. It’s a season that reminds us of the people who have moved through our lives, of song lyrics that we’ll never forget, of the ways we’ve grown (and, yet, how we’re still somehow ever the same).
But today’s newsletter isn’t about the glitz and glam of the end-of-the-year holidays. In fact, this week I’m celebrating my own annual tradition — my anniversary with Arron. Seven years ago today, we married each other in Cartagena, Colombia. And though I use the term “Anchor Point” a lot around here, it never means as much to me as it does when I use it in reference to my beloved. My captain, my compass and my ultimate destination.
With another tiny addition on the way, I’m thinking a lot more about the everyday rituals that help keep us rooted in a sense of home. And since food is one of my love languages, my mind is on the culinary rituals of the in-between — the go-to meals that keep us tied to the present, whether we’re cooking for ourselves or for a loved one. Food doesn’t have to be festive or flashy for it to be an expression of love and care. There’s a reason why we return to the home base of everyday flavors and recipes, the ones that we choose not out of tradition but out of what is always present.
Maybe it’s literally an ingredient that’s always there in your kitchen — in mine, miso paste! — or a comforting recipe that you can always rely on to lift your mood after a long day. It could be something as simple as a pan-fried fillet of salmon, which you’ve made sure to sear perfectly as a way to treat the person sitting next to you at the dinner table. Or it could be a big batch of fish cakes that you’ve prepared and frozen so that everyone knows there’s always food in the house. And of course those signature pink arepas that aren’t just our son’s favorite breakfast, but instantly take us back to that special moment in Cartagena seven years ago.
These rituals of the in-between shape our lives in ways that can be harder to account for than an annual observation or a big event. They’re what tie us to the present, to the unique rhythms that define home for each one of us. To celebrate these moments of nuance is to simply practice them, to cook everyday favorites, almost as a meditation on existence. No special fanfare required.
If you’re celebrating something this month, go on, make space for the arrangements of candles and lights and flourishes of color that add that extra special touch to the moment. Because to wrap up another year, whether we’re talking about winter holidays or a marriage anniversary, is something that deserves a little fanfare. But don’t forget to hold space for celebrating the in-between times, too. They’re the sacred glue of what it means to be home.
Live Wild,
Monica
Pictured above: A vintage snapshot of the Kallenbergs as newlyweds in Cartagena, Colombia, surprising their guests with a choreographed dance set to Missy Elliot’s “Lose Control.” (Which is perhaps fitting, as one of Arron’s life mottos is “Embrace chaos.”)
